2. From Tragedy to Triumph: A Father’s Spiritual Guidance from Heaven

Intro: He was just a really fun guy to be around. He embodied what life is all about. I don't know, something's not right. So they took him to the doctor and that's when they diagnosed him with a brain tumor. It was heartbreaking because he was just my strong dad then he wasn't. They started playing the music to walk me down the aisle. And literally my mom and I looked at each other and we just, I grabbed one side of him, and my mom grabbed the other side of him, and we literally walked my dad down the aisle. Everyone was crying. Everyone. They were happy for me, but they were also like, heartbroken for me too. It was one of the most happiest, saddest times in my life. But I'm so grateful that he was there. In 2011, my husband and I were trying to start a family. He just was like, we're going to the hospital, I don't care, we're going to the hospital. This is weird. I went septic. I was definitely circling the drain, if you will. I was clinging onto life, and that is when I vividly remember talking, seeing, hugging my dad. I just remember saying to him, like, I want to come with you.

Welcome to Next Realm Beautiful Stories from beyond, a show that explores the profound and heartwarming stories of individuals who've experienced messages from their departed loved ones. I'm your host, Amber Rasmussen, and today's guest is my former classmate and lifelong friend Amaia. Her story is incredibly powerful, and while bound to pull at your heartstrings, it will leave you with chills and inspired beyond measure. Today, we're talking about her father and the profound way that his spirit showed up for her during life's most challenging times.

Amaia: He was born in 1945, in Spain, and it's in the Basque region, which is basically the northern part of Spain, close to the French border. He had seven brothers and sisters, grew up on a farm, and he grew up mostly speaking Basque and Spanish, so obviously no English. He joined the Spanish Navy and he was docked in San Francisco, and that's where he met my mom. They met at a Basque hotel and she was a waitress. And she she's Basque as well. So born in America. But mom and dad are both from Spain, so that was something they had in common. There's cities in Spain are literally 20 minutes apart. And here they are in America, in San Francisco. So instant connection. They got married in Spain, and then they came to live in America. And they started a family, two kids. And then they got into the restaurant business because my mom really didn't know what they were going to do. Her husband didn't speak any English. He didn't have a formal education. So they bought into Arctic Circle and they started that. They basically ran that for several years. My dad learned English by reading books to me and Iotore, my brother. And so it was a slow growing language process for him. He basically learned English by running that restaurant with my mom, and four years later, they decided they did love the restaurant business, and they wanted to run their own business and not be part of a franchise. So they bought a place in Cornelius, which now is known or was known as Bosco's Burgers.

Amber: There was a field like, and I lived in these little apartments with my family, and we would walk across the field and go get a Basco burger. Growing up like that was the staple and it had the best fry sauce ever.

Amaia: I know people used to like, I totally remember this go crazy over the fry sauce. I have lots of friends that give memories of their little their little brothers like, you know, running away from home and going to get a milkshake at Bosco's and, you know, just. Funny stories that people would tell about Bosco's. And so many of my friends worked there. My brother worked there, I worked there, you know, it was kind of a bad thing to have your parents run a restaurant, because if you were home and somebody called in sick, guess who was going in to work? It was me or my brother.

It was really cute because my dad, one of the things about him is he loved to give people nicknames. So people that were like regulars that would come in all the time, he would give them nicknames, you know, like he's like, here comes super cheese. You know, one of our cheeseburgers was called the Super cheese. Here comes super cheese, or, you know, so and so the donut man, and he just had all these nicknames for all the people that were coming and going into Bosco's and our family to like his nieces and nephews, and everybody had a nickname. And, I love that. Yeah. He

Amber: did they know that they had a nickname or was it just between you guys know? They knew it?

Amaia: Yeah. Yeah they did. and they were fine with it. and so they ran that for 19 years. And that was kind of my dad's legacy, really. I mean, he came from nothing. I mean, literally a suitcase. He was just a really fun guy to be around. He was always laughing, joking. He was just a great person. He embodied like what life is all about. And it was family and good food and just having fun and laughing. And he just had a great aura about him, great personality.

Everyone always was smiling and laughing around him and I always remember that. And he loved his family immensely. He was a very dedicated to his family back in Spain and us.

Amber: Well, I love that he like really kept you guys tied to his culture.

Amaia: Yeah, in fact, this is kind of funny. So we lived in Cornelius and then there was the only grocery store was Safeway. And so basically on his way home, he would like in Spain, they take their lunch around 2:00. And so you know, here in America we eat at 12. And so he would work in the morning from about 6 a.m., and then he would get through lunch hour and then around 145 when lunch hours kind of dying down. He would leave and go to Safeway, get his his French bread, and then he would go home and make his lunch like, you know, he'd make, you know, bacon and eggs and French bread or he'd make a tortilla or a tortilla is, like an egg potato mixture. It's not like a Mexican tortilla. It's a little bit different. But he would make his, like, traditional Basque lunch, and then he would have a CSA, and he would take a nap from about 3:00 to five, and then he would check in at Bosco's later to see how, dinner hour was going. So he kept on that schedule. Even in America. He did that every day. So when I would come home from school, I knew my dad was taking a nap. Like I was like, yes, yes, yeah.

Amber: Hey man, let's implement that in the US for that.

Amaia: Yeah, yeah. So I was like, I knew like if I had friends come over I'm like, okay, you guys have to be quiet. My dad's taking a nap and they're just like, what? Like that's. So we don't do that. Yeah. And I'm like, yep. So he, he he kept his traditions alive regardless of what people thought he was like. This is the way I'm going to do it. And he did, which is pretty awesome. Of course, when we were younger, we were probably like embarrassed or oh my gosh, you know, like I'm sure that we were not super embracing it right when you're 13 years old, but right. I appreciate different perspective as an adult. Yeah, I appreciate it now for sure.

In 2003 is when he started to have some kind of symptoms relating to being dizzy, and his vision wasn't really good. He used to play racquetball and he was starting to have some balance issues. I remember one time when he was came home from racquetball, I walked into the kitchen and he was pouring a glass of orange juice, and the orange juice cup was completely full and orange juice was going everywhere. He was just filling it and filling it. And I'm like, dad, what are you doing? I called him either, which is Dad and Bask, and I'm like, I thought, what are you doing? And he's like, I'm just getting some orange juice. I'm like, looking at him like there's orange juice all over the place. Like your cup's full.

So then, you know, that's when we kind of told my mom, like, I don't know, something's not right. So they took him to the doctor, and that's when they diagnosed him with a brain tumor, astrocytoma tumor. And my mom and I did a bunch of research and it didn't look good.

Amber: Amaya's father battled brain cancer for the next year, growing weaker and weaker. As her family joined together. During this trying time, Amaya was also in the midst of planning her wedding and was faced with making a big decision.

Amaia: It was heartbreaking because he was just my strong dad and then he wasn't. I was going to get married and dad got diagnosed with the tumor, so then it was like, okay, originally we were going to get married in Hawaii in November. My mom's like, I don't want to sound doomsday or anything, but you might want to move up this wedding, because what if what if something happens and dad's not at the wedding? I'm like, yeah, you're right. I didn't want to look at it that way. So it was around March that we were planning the wedding and we were going to get married in November, and I remember my mom telling me that. And then we went, looked at a bunch of different places. And the place that I decided I loved was an outdoor venue, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, it's March and I'm wanting to plan a wedding in the summer. And she like, laughed and said, you're talking about this summer. And I said, yeah, she's oh my gosh, we're booked out for like three summers. And I'm like, oh my gosh, that's crazy. So I left and I was driving home and she said, oh my gosh, you're not going to believe this. I said, what? And she said, we just had a cancellation. And it's kind of a sad thing. The husband's getting deployed into the Army, and that's why they have to cancel. And what do you think? And I said, well, when is it? And she says, June 19th. And I'm like, oh my gosh, June 19th is my mom and dad's anniversary. So I was like, what? And she's like, yes, it's a Saturday. It's June 19th. And I'm just thinking, oh my God. So like I called my mom like freaking out.

I'm like, can you believe it? And she's like, yeah, I can believe it. Like, you know, like, why not? That's amazing. You know, it's just meant to be. And so we got married on June 19th on my mom and dad's 33rd anniversary, and was he was able to attend.

Amber: And did he walk you down the aisle?

Amaia: He was pretty sick. So, you know, I have tons of memories of my dad, you know, but one of my most vivid memories of when he was alive is, at my wedding. So he was pretty sick. He was kind of shuffling really slowly. And the day of my wedding, my mom called and said, you know, I don't think he's going to be able to walk you down the aisle. He's so weak, he's probably gonna have to be in a wheelchair. And he was like, no, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. So then we didn't even rehearse it. It just kind of happened. We didn't even like talk about how it was going to happen. So they played. They started playing the music to walk me down the aisle. And literally my mom and I looked at each other and we just. I grabbed one side of him and my mom grabbed the other side of him, and we literally walked my dad down the aisle. And I remember looking out to all of our guests, and I just thought, like, there was not a dry eye. Like everyone was crying. Everyone. And it wasn't like, oh my gosh, we're so happy. Am I getting married? It was more like this moment, but I'll never forget that I shared with all those people that was like, this is amazing, you're getting married. But this is so sad. Your dad, he's not going to be here for very long, like he's dying and everyone knew it.

I looked out into the crowd and I could see that in everybody's eyes, like they were happy for me. But they were also, like, heartbroken for me, too. It was one of the most happiest, saddest times in my life. But I'm so grateful that he was there and. Yeah, I just I it burns into my brain that memory. But I have a gazillion good memories. But that one was just very special because I don't think a lot of people get that moment where before they lose someone that they they know how special that moment is. Do you know what I mean?

Amber: Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm crying listening to it. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. This is like, oh, it's not what I meant to do, but oh God, I'm so sorry.

Amaia: I know, I know, it's that's how it was though. Wow. That's that's literally how it was. It was, you know, it was like me and my mom were just trying to be so strong in the moment. But looking back at it, it's such a good memory for me because it's so vivid and it's so profound. It's so it's just it's a moment in time where you're just like, you know, that you're never going to get this moment back. And it's. It's priceless. It's absolutely priceless. And it wasn't about me, right? I'm getting married and my dad's not walking me down the aisle. I'm literally my mom and I are walking him down the aisle. And it wasn't about me. It wasn't about me at all. It was about our families and just being together. And that's been such an emotional day.

Amber: Just wow.

Amaia: It was it was tough. And then so my dad died two months later. I mean, imagine my mom too. I think, you know, she just had her daughter get married and then her husband dies. And, you know, it's all these things, huge life altering moments happening all really close together. And I think it was it was very hard. After he passed, my mom had a really hard time. So she was she was struggling like she just could not understand. She just didn't know how she was going to live without him. She needed to know where he was. Was he okay? She needed answers. And so she had a friend who's had some, you know, psychic tendencies, and she put her in contact with this guy who actually lived in Roseburg. She contacted him and paid him basically, and he came to her house. He has no information. So even in the obituary, you know, because later I was kind of like trying to figure out, like how he knew stuff, like, how did he know that?

So I went back, and there's no way he could have known the things he knew. And I was very cynical. Like, I was like, okay, mom, this is a waste of money. This is a waste of time. This seems super hokey to me, I know, but I went along with it because I knew she needed answers. He came to the house and he kind of was like a slow moving kind of. He kind of. It was almost like he was being like, not, I don't want to say possessed, but he just acted odd. And he said, you know, just give me a second, give me a second. And he kept saying that and we're just like, what the heck? And so then he like, kneels down and he's like on the ground. And he says, my head hurts really bad. My head hurts so bad I can't even tell you how bad my head hurts. And me and my mom are like, what is this guy doing? And then he, like, looks up to my mom and me and he goes. Joe died of a brain tumor. And me and my mom are like, what? How could he know that? So there was that. And then there were some other things that he said that were just only my mom and I would know.

And then another funny thing that happened that was kind of weird is someone was supposed to come, and it was actually my sister in law and she didn't come. And he said, the reason why she's not coming is because she knows there's some things that I might say, and there's there's trouble in the marriage. Well, a year later, my brother and her got divorced, and that never crossed my mind until later when we looked over like the notes that my mom wrote down from when he was at her house. So it was just like things like that. And I was just kind of like, but the brain tumor and then the headache and he he was just struggling. He literally got like physically sick. He, he said it was one of the most intense sessions he's ever had. And he's never had anybody come through so hard. He just it like overwhelmed him almost.

But there were a lot of things that he said that resonated with my mom and I that, I mean, if I wasn't before.

Amber: So prior, you weren't really into the woo! We call it the Woo. Did your religion play a part in your belief system as far as like mediums and signs from the other side or anything like that?

Amaia: No, I was I was brought up Catholic. My mom and dad, you know, made us go to church. You know, I actually have two aunts that are nuns in Spain. Our family was just brought up very Catholic. But no, no, my mom has always been very like she believes in the afterlife. She believes in, you know, that you come back in different forms and energy. And so she's talked a little bit to me about that. But no, I don't think religion had a big part in it. It was more maybe my mom, just the way she kind of believed that things are energy and there's things around us. And sometimes people think coincidences and other people that are more awake don't see coincidences. They see them as science. You know, it didn't resonate with me until after my dad passed away, because that's when it that's when I would see signs. That's when, you know, for instance, at my wedding, we danced to, because you loved me. And after he died, there'd be so many times that song would come on. Doctor's office. Dentist's office, on the radio, where it would be like, you know, a radio station that that song wouldn't normally play. You know, I was like, that's random. And then I'm like, is it? Is it random or is it just my dad's way of just saying, hey, I'm here, I'm around.

Another thing were ladybugs. Any time ladybugs would land on us. I don't know why it came to be ladybugs. I think my husband, a ladybug, landed on him on the same day a ladybug landed on me, and we both just randomly said that. And then we were like, my dad or my husband said, your dad came to visit me today. And I was like, what? And he goes, yeah, a ladybug landed on my bag and then landed on my hand later. And I just decided that was your dad. That was your dad saying, hey, I'm okay, I'm out here, I'm free. You know, I'm watching over you guys. And so that was our thing, ladybug. So anytime we see a ladybug, we're just like, hi, dad. Hi. Hey. What's up? So it's really light to us, you know, like, it's happy we try to look for anything, you know?

And the number 19 it's a lot...It's too much to be a coincidence, you know. So I mean obviously my mom's born on the 19th. My dad's born on the 19th. They got married on the 19th. I got married on the, the 19th. you know, we've sold houses that we didn't mean to on the 19th. The 19th came up for up for my wedding, you know, like, that was a perfect indication of the 19 popping up. And another time the 19 popped up. It was kind of like a hidden 19, but it was like a little mystery for me to find out. I think my dad did it on purpose just for us to, like, give us a little, you know, something to figure out.

So he died on August 5th, 2004. So I was like August 5th like that. That means nothing. Like I can't even like there's nothing. There's no 19, there's no nothing. Maybe a couple days after he passed away, I like sit up in the middle of the night. August 5th, 2004. So I'm like, okay, August 8th plus August 5th plus five plus two, 2004. It's 19. So if you take and you add up all those number numbers, it's 19. Yeah. So it's like after the fact is when you kind of notice all these things I've noticed.

Amber: Yeah. Because my nephew is the same way. He died on May 23rd. And then after the fact we're like, oh my gosh, grandpa also died on May 23rd. Yeah. My I think it was my great grandma died on the 23rd different month. But the 2023 just my dog died on the 23rd. Both dogs, I believe. Yeah. just 23 over and over and over. Like, what is it? But when it happened, it's crazy.

Amaia: When it happens, you're not aware of it. Like you're not thinking, oh, August 5th. Oh, yeah. Like, because you're kind of searching for that answer. And some people would say you could make that out of anything. But, you know, I don't agree with that because it that number adds up to 19. You can't dispute it. So I'm not like searching for stuff. It's just there. But you have to find it.

Amber: There's a show on Netflix. You know, Tyler Henry is. Yes. He's a kind of well known medium. Has a show on Netflix. But I was watching his new show and he was calling it Meaningful Coincidences. And I was like, that's exactly what that is. Like, there's difference between just things being coincidental, but then there's these meaningful coincidences that are spot on. Exactly like, you know, exactly that. I've never heard that song played before. And now all of a sudden it's playing. Or that number or, you know, for me it was I had never seen dragonflies and then all of a sudden dragonflies. Yeah. And hummingbirds everywhere. Yeah. It was like that's not normal. Like that's not what I've been used to before. Like. Yeah. So like the meaningful coincidence is that has such a powerful meaning behind it. Right behind it. But and you're more yeah. It's like, you know and you know too I was I don't know how to describe it. I was like, there's just this inner knowing.

Amaia: Yep, yep. That's so true. Because you're just more I think you're just more aware. When you're more aware, you just see things with like a broader lens. You're not just so like hyper focused on one thing, you're just a little more open. And people that are a little more open, things kind of come to them a little more, you know what I mean?

Amber: Did the signs kind of ease up after the initial few months after he passed, or were they just kind of ongoing?

Amaia: I feel like they were I. And this is kind of a weird statement, but I feel like they were more when I needed them more. Does that make sense? Like when I was going through a really tough time or I was just really struggling? I feel like it was more. And then when I was doing good or I was just, you know, more independent and doing my own thing, I felt like it was less so. I don't know if that's a coincidence or not, but I just feel like it was when I needed it the most is when I got the most signs.

Amber: I think they just initially want to make sure that you're okay. And that I'm here. I'm just in a different realm, like, I'm. I'm always here. I can, you know, it's just it's just different. It's a little transition from this energy to that energy.

Amaia: Yeah. And, and we talk about him a lot, you know, like, I mean, we talk about him almost. I mean, there isn't a dinner that goes by that we don't mention his name, and it's been 19 years. I mean, oh, this is kind of a fun fact. or just a fun little thing. It has been 19 years. since the guy who did the psychic reading for us. My mom contacted him about a month ago and said, you know, I just have this, like, itch I just want I don't know why, but I just want to meet with him again. So. So we did, and it was just over a phone call or like a FaceTime. And it was really good. He he's not doing as much work with that as much. He still is getting readings and he's still getting the the things coming through. But he said that he's he's not doing it as much. But he said that ever since he met with our family, he says, Joe has come back to me so many times and we're like, how do you. What do you mean? And he's like, I just mean that he has made me be a better dad or be a better husband, or he's he's made me at times where I was kind of struggling and not doing the things I needed to be doing. I always thought about your family and how strong you guys were as a family, and how much you guys loved him, and it made me want to be like him. And so 19 years ago, that has stuck with that guy. And he literally says, Joe's like my guardian angel. Like, I talk to him all the time. And he didn't even know him, right? Oh my goodness. Like, he he didn't even know him. But that's what's so cool about it. It's like just from knowing how much we loved my dad, this guy has to be legit. Like, his family loves him so much and he's such a good dad and honorable man, you know? So he looked up to this man he's never met in his whole life. And it it meant so much to me and my mom.

Amber: After the passing of her father, life had to go on, and Amaya and her new husband were ready to take on the next big step in life growing her family.

Amaia: My dad died in 2004, and then I got sick in 2011. So seven years later, my husband and I were trying to start a family. So I had had two miscarriages prior and then we finally got pregnant again. So this would have been my third pregnancy. I was a hairstylist and I was doing hair and I was like, oh my gosh, I think I just peed my pants. And I was 19 weeks and I thought, I don't know what just happens. I went to the bathroom and nope, I didn't pee my pants, but there's water all over the place. So I told my friend, my coworker, and she's like, yeah, no, that's not good. And so I ended up going to the hospital the next day to get, you know, everything checked. And, they kind of said there's not a lot of movement, so we're not really sure. And so we have to run further tests on and on. It kind of got dragged out and. They said the pregnancy was not going to be viable and that basically I was going to have another miscarriage and that was it.

And I went home, I was getting ready to go to bed and I was kind of acting weird. My husband said he was like, I was like slow motion. Everything was slow. I was talking slow, and I was trying to cancel my clients for the next day and tell him, I don't think I'm going to be at work tomorrow. He just was like, we're going to the hospital, I don't care, we're going to the hospital. This is weird. So we went to the hospital. From that point on, I don't have a huge recollection of what happened until after.

So we went to the hospital and they tried to get the baby to pass. And after that, I went septic. Everything kind of went, went dark. I got wheeled into ICU. Bodies start shutting down. Once you go septic, it's really hard. I mean, the longer you're septic, the harder it is to, like, get back. They put me in a coma. Everything's kind of like to slow your body down. Like let's slow it down. And at that point, that is when I started to, you know, see my dad. And so I was definitely clingy. Circling the drain, if you will. I was clinging onto life. That's when I was probably the most touch and go is when I was in the self-induced coma. And that is when I vividly remember talking, seeing, hugging my dad, having conversations with him. And in the moment it feels like so real, like I, I couldn't determine if it was, if it had happened or not. Like in my mind, that really happened. That's how real it is. And I remember what he was wearing. I remember how he looked. You know, he died when he was 58. And when I saw him when I was laying in the hospital, he was probably about 40, 42. He looked handsome. I remember what he was wearing. He had a gray button shirt and he had gray slacks on. I just I remember everything so vividly, and I just remember saying to him, like, I want to come with you. And he said, no, no, no, no, you can't. And I was like, yeah, I want to come with you. And he's like, no, you have to stay. You have to fight. You have to you have to stay here. There's a lot for you to do here. And I just remember being, like, kind of mad at him, like, no, I don't want to. I don't want to go. I want to stay with you. And that's basically when I was literally deciding if I was going to stay or go.

You know, they're delivering the news to my family that I have, like a 1% chance of living. And if I do, I could be brain dead. Because, you know, of all the damage. And, you know, my family, my husband, I mean, they are just here's this 35 year old pregnant woman, and now you're telling me she's going to die. It was just mind boggling. Nobody could wrap their mind around it. It was confusing. It was crazy. And then that's when I started to get a little bit better. And they did what was called a balloon pump heart surgery on me. So they went in and they just it's a way to give your heart a break from beating so much. And they did that. They did. my kidneys were shutting down. So they did dialysis. And then I started to slowly, slowly, slowly my numbers got better and they were able to take me off of, the vent, the breathing tube, the first thing, they had a psychologist come in and come talk to me and they said, I don't remember this, but they said the first thing I said was, I'm just so happy to be alive. And they just were like shocked. You know, they were just like, wow, that's crazy to say that, because normally you would just. Say, like, what's happening? What am I doing? You know, blah blah blah. And I was just pretty calm. And I just said, I'm just so happy to be alive. And then I started asking questions about where's the baby? And, you know, things like that. But that took some time. Everyone kind of ignored me for a while. I mean, no one was ready to, like, tell me the truth about that until I was strong enough, you know,

I got stronger and stronger. And at that point, they give you pressors that basically keep your vitals alive. But what happens is it stops blood flow to the rest of your extremities. So it's pretty typical with people that get sepsis if you don't die, that you could have, amputations due to blood flow loss to those extremities. So when I was coming out of it, I'm looking down and I'm seeing my feet are black and my fingertips are black and shriveled up. And I'm like, I'm so confused. I'm just like this. These don't look like my hands. These don't. This doesn't look like my feet.

Little by little, I got better and better. And then, you know, the doctors started to come in and talk to my family and me about, okay, so like, you've made it, but now we have a whole nother struggle we have to do, and that is that we're going to have to do amputation surgery on both your legs and your fingertips, and you're going to still have to stay on dialysis and, you know, things like that. So long story short, went in on December 19th, 2011, and my surgery was in January 2012 for my amputation surgery. And they did everything at the same time. So they did both legs and nine fingertips in one surgery.

And then I, I came out of that and then it was rehabilitation and then from the recovery they send you home and then that's when you start. Your visits at the Prosthetist and they start, you know, fitting you for prosthetics and that whole thing. So I yeah, it was, it was that's a lot. It is that is a lot I know it's it's a lot. And it's like you have to you just have to get through it. I mean, there's no way to there's no better way to say that than you literally are just taking it minute by minute, day by day. Just get through it. You can't think too far ahead. I remember having these conversations with my mom, and one of the first things I said to my mom was, I'm so glad dad's not here to see me like this. I said I would break his heart to see his little girl, like sitting here, just mutilated and just, you know, just not the person that he knew. And I remember saying to my mom, like, I'm just I'm not going to be. I'm never going to be normal. I'm never going to be. I'm just going to be a freak. People are going to look at me different, and I'm never going to be Amaia again. I'm never going to be the Amaia that everyone remembers.

I proved myself wrong, you know, over years and years and years of work. I know that now. He would be so proud of me, you know, like, beyond proud of me. just because of the person I have become, because of that, you know, and I can only say the person I become is because of, you know, my upbringing and my family. And I had an awesome mom and dad and such a huge support system. It's been 13 years since that happened. Well, 12.5. It's been 12.5 years since that happened. And, I look back on it and it's like somebody else's life. Like I'm talking about someone else's life. It doesn't feel real, you know?

Amber: Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Question. When you first came to I know that you were a little bit out of it, clearly. Did you tell people what you saw, that you were with your dad?

Amaia: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I told my mom, the funny thing is, I have a friend, my coworker, she has the ability to sense, and she's just very, aware. I guess that's the word I would say. But she told people when I was in the hospital while I was in the ICU, where not a lot of people were visiting me and I see only close family. She said she's with her dad right now and she's trying to figure out if she wants to stay or not. And she knew things medically. That. Knew what? No one knew. You know, she said that. You know that my kidneys were shutting down. And she knew that. She just knew things that weren't. They weren't common knowledge or. Common information for people. But she didn't know that about my dad until I talked to her, like, months and months and months later. And she said to me, you know, I, I know you were with your dad. And I looked at her and I said, what do you mean?

She says, I know you were like you were talking to your dad when you were in the ICU. And I said, yes, I was. And I mean, she knew it, but the first time we had a conversation was probably three months after I was out of the hospital. And so and I was on a lot of drugs. I mean, I was so doped up, but that stuff was so vivid and so real to me that like. Nobody can tell me any different. I'm like, that was real. That was a real thing.

Amber: I know you were, like, completely a believer after he initially passed, but then having your own experience, your own kind of near-death experience. Did that change everything altogether, like your whole entire outlook on life? Like, now I know there is something else.

Amaia: Yeah, for 100%. Yeah. I feel like it's not so scary because it didn't feel scary at that time. It felt like I kind of wanted to go there. Like I was kind of like leaning that way. It looked. It felt easier. It it just there was a feeling about it. It was like the the route I was going to take was going to be way harder. And I didn't want to do it. And it has been hard. so I feel like wherever they are, it's it's it's easy. It's not as hard as it is here. Do you know what I mean?

Amber: Do you think he knew what you're in store for when you came back? And that was part of your life plan to have these challenges that would change who you are and experience life in a different way and just have a different, more awakened.

Amaia: Well, I think he knew how badly I wanted to be a mom. So I think that, yeah, that was really big. Like I think he knew that that was one of my life goals, is I wanted to be a mom, and just being myself would help other people. Like just I didn't have to write a book. I didn't have to climb a mountain. I didn't have to run a marathon. I wasn't having to do something. I think he was just saying, like, if you just live your life the way you want to, you're going to inspire people. You're going to tell, you're going to show people like, you can do anything.

Amber: And boy, did she! Amaia fulfilled her lifelong dreams and is continuing to make the most of each and every day here on Earth. Let's hear about what she's been up to and how these experiences change the way she sees and lives life.

Amaia: I am a mom. I have two little boys. We went through a surrogacy to have our boys and that is my ultimate dream to be a mom. And I love it. I mean, I'm not going to pretend like it's all rainbows and unicorns. It's hard work, but I love being the person that gets to teach them things. I love having conversations with my kids on the way home from school. I love being able to tell them, you know, when people look different or act different, that they might be going through something and to have a little kindness for them. And I love that I look at life so differently. My perspective is so different because of what I went through that I can't help but pass that on to my kids. You know, my kids perspective is different too. There will be times where I'm, you know, walking around or whatever just at Fred Meyer's grocery shopping, and someone will come up to me and just say, you are amazing. And I'll just like, oh, thank you. And they're like, I just love that you're just doing your thing. You're just living your life. You're you're raising your kids, you're out grocery shopping, you got a big smile on your face. That's awesome. And that's, I guess, what I'm supposed to do.

Amber: Yeah, I yeah, you're so right. Like, you don't need to go run a marathon after surgery. And what you've gone through, like. No, you're so right. Just just you being you is inspiring because you could have taken the branch of my life's over. I hate having prosthetics. I hate that I couldn't carry my own child. I hate all you could. You could have gone in so many different directions. But your attitude shift and even just waking up saying, I'm just thankful to be alive. Yeah, obviously something happened while you were there that you came back and made the best of it, and you were living this great life with your family. You're carrying on the same traditions that your father, you know, did with you.

Amaia: Well, yes, but, you know, it takes work, though, like, it takes a lot of work on my part to live that life. I mean, council, I mean, I, I go to, I, I still see a counselor because I need someone to kind of like, tell me, okay, you're the one that's in charge here. Like, you're in charge of your own happiness. If you're not happy with something, you have to change it. It's up to you. Things don't just happen to your life and they just magically just get better. So it's a lot of work, too. It's a lot of like self. You know, digging in. You know, why do I feel that? Why? Why am I angry about that? That's. You know what? What's it about me that makes me angry or, you know, so I'm constantly, like, working on things for myself to make my life happy.

Amber: How long do you think it took before you felt more normal? Like. Just like your normal?

Amaia: Yeah. I would say 5 to 8 years before I was starting to, like, really come into my own. I feel like this year's been a real shift for me. I'm taking my own advice that I tell my kids, you know, my kids tell me like, so-and-so's mean to me. And I'm like, well, then don't be friends with them. Go play with somebody else. You know, like, don't waste your energy on that. Just be kind and be nice. But you don't have to be best friends with them. So I'm trying to like, take my own advice that I'm telling my kids and like, I'm picking my circle. I'm picking the the time that I spend with people. you know, if I don't want to do something, I'm not going to do it. You know, if I'm not being, like, rude about it. I'm just saying, if it doesn't come from, like, a good place to do something, I'm not going to do it and I don't feel bad or guilty about it. And we were I was at school the other day and I was wearing these pants and, this girl was like, oh man, those pants are cute, but I don't think I could pull those off at all. And I thought to myself, like, I don't care what. Like I really don't care what people don't care. I literally she was saying, like these pants I'm wearing. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, you know, the kind of the barrel jeans, you know, the kind of like, yes, I actually was going to order a pair myself. So I'm glad you have a pair because I like those. They're awesome, I love them. Yeah. She was like, I don't think I could pull that off. And I was thinking to myself, like, I love that. I don't give a shit what people think. Like, I, I mean, I don't mean that in a bad way. I'm not like rude about it, but like, if someone doesn't like my pants, okay, I do okay. And here's the deal. And this is what I tell my kids. I have metal legs. I can do whatever I want. If I want to wear MC hammer pants, I can wear MC hammer pants if I want to, you know what I mean? Like I tell my kids, like jokingly, I just say that. I just say, listen, I. Can I get? I get to bend the rules a little bit. I have metal legs, so if I want to wear a jumpsuit or pantsuit instead of a dress to like a fancy dinner, I get to do that. I got metal legs. I can do that. So I just kind of make light of it, and just kind of own it, you know?

Amber: but to your point, too, is, you know, when you go through something, it's very eye opening experience and you came back for a reason and we all get just one go at this life on earth. So you're right. Like, don't give a fuck about this, that or like the things that don't matter doesn't matter at the end of the day. Like who cares what pants you're wearing? Or if a friendship doesn't serve you, then leave that friendship or yeah, like you know you do. You have to be in charge of your happiness.

Amaia: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And and just I think I'm. I'm more like my mom. I'm a little more, like, sensitive. And I take things personally, and I'm trying to be more like my dad and be like, no, nope. I don't I don't like that. Or, you know, he would just stand up for himself and say, no, I don't think so. Yeah. You're not going to treat me like that. And so I'm trying to find a balance, you know? So I'm learning, but I feel like I just, I mean, I, I just had such a good childhood and such a good upbringing that I feel like that's where I'm at because of that. So I can't take full credit for it. so that's what I'm trying to do for my kids. I'm trying to, you know, me and my husband are trying to do that for our kids because we know how important it is. It comes full circle.

Amber: The only last thing I wanted to touch on, I made a note of. Was the magazine in your room. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And how? Yeah, there's like one of those meaningful coincidence moments. Yeah. But, like, it's so interesting that that magazine was in your room at the exact time that you were going through some. Can you talk us through that? Because that would be like a good note to end on, on happy things.

Amaia: So remember when we had magazines and we used to all read magazines, right. this was shape magazine, and, Jillian Michaels was on the front of it, I think. And it was December 19th issue, and my mom was reading it and I was recovering from amputation surgery, so I was out of it. I was on so much pain meds during the time I was there that by the time my amputation surgery came, my body wasn't even responding. So my mom had to sit on my bed and push my button every eight minutes for my pain meds because I couldn't push it because my fingers were all bandaged up. And so my mom laid on my bed and pushed my pain button for eight minutes or every eight minutes. And she was reading this magazine, 2013 again, 2011. And there was an article in there, and it was about a gal who got sepsis, was pregnant, and it talked about her whole story, and it was very similar to mine pregnant, you know, water broke. Sepsis spirals out of control. And then her baby actually survived. She was a little further along than I was. So her baby survived. But because of the sepsis. She lost both legs below the knee. Like me, she lost one arm above the wrist and one finger on the other hand. And her eyesight. So she became blind. Both legs. One arm, one finger. And she got her baby. Her baby was fine. Everything was fine with the baby. And my mom just was, like, freaking out. When she read this, she was like, oh my God, this is this. This is what happened to M.I.A. So she contacted the husband, there was an email, and she contacted the husband, and the husband got back to her with my with Carol. Her name is Carol with Carol's phone number. And one day I was getting ready for dialysis. I was at home. I was doing outpatient, dialysis. I had to do it three times a week, and I hated it. And I called her and we literally talked for like two hours straight, like we were best friends. And we had we'd known known each other all our lives. It was crazy. It was nuts. we talked about clothing. We talked about, you know, food. We talked about families. We literally talked about so many things. And we became such good friends. And we're still good friends to this day. I call her when I'm having a bad day. She calls me when she's having a bad day. and it's kind of ironic because I look at her story is more tragic than mine, right? Because she got the baby, but she never got to see the baby. She doesn't have the eyesight to see her kids. And then I lost the baby. And she sees my story is more tragic. So we're perfect for each other, right? Because she sees me as like, gosh, Amaya has it worse off than I did. And then I see her as, gosh, Carol has it worse off, you know what I mean? so we're very good friends. We met about a year after. she was, with her family at the beach and invited our family over or invited me and my husband over, and we met, and it was awesome. We're just like kindred spirits. We've known each other our whole lives.

Amber: Yeah, I just feel like that was meant to be that December 19th magic number issue in the right place at the right time for your mom to read that. I just. There has to be. That's just not a coincidence. Yeah, in my opinion. Yeah. It's like a forever friend that that was supposed to be in your life.

Amaia: Yep. Yep,

Amber: I love that. Yeah. Oh, Amaia Your story. Oh, you made me cry. Sorry. I'm probably going to do this all the time. I I'm such a baby like you. Just.

Amaia: You're an empath thing. You're an empath.

Amber: I am, I am, I'm like, I'm probably not the perfect host for this show.

Amaia: No, that makes you the perfect. Actually makes you the perfect host. Actually.

Amber: Yeah, I know my sister's coming on, and, she's like, I don't think. I think I'm all cried out. I think I can share my story with my son. And I was like, I couldn't even hardly speak out the words to tell the story without crying. Right? But. Right. Oh, gosh, crazy, I think. Yeah, time passes. And she's like, I think I can do it. But I just I'm so thankful that you were kind enough to share your story. I know you're not out there trying to yell it from the rooftops, but I just I really hope to touch people. Yeah. And, you know, there is something more and just. I just love it. I loved every part of it, and I just. I love you as a person. And I know we haven't talked in years, but, like, I actually found the picture of me and you from kindergarten, remember I was telling you about, oh, I, I will take a picture of it and I'll text you. Please do. I found it and you're putting that my almost there button.

Amaia: Oh my gosh, that's amazing.

Amber: I know we go way back. Again, I feel like people are kind of put in your life and like, yeah, yeah, it's like you've been sprinkled in my life since the earliest of days before I even went to school. Yeah, like from the little church behind our apartments and then grade school. And then we were on dance team together and then high school. You worked at the salon of my mom's. Yeah. So it's so crazy. It is just wild, but. Oh, my goodness. It's it's crazy how people come in and out of your life, you know?

Amaia: Yeah. And everyone's going through. That's what I tell my kids. Everybody is going through something. You just can't see it. You literally. Yeah. You got to like. That's what I keep telling them. Don't judge. And just the thing with me is you can see my struggles, right? You see me and you're like, that girl's been through some stuff, but there's a lot of people that have been through stuff and they they don't show it. It's just it's there, but we don't see it. So that's why I'm trying to tell my kids to try to be nice, you know, and be compassionate towards people because you never know what's going on on the inside.

Amber: Well, those are certainly some very wise words in a good way to end this episode. As always, thank you so much for supporting the show. If you have a story to share, please email me at Next Realm podcast at gmail.com. And if you are inspired by Amaya's story, please consider clicking the link in the show notes to support the American Cancer Society in honor of her father, or limbs for life, a nonprofit dedicated to providing fully functional prosthetic care for individuals who cannot otherwise afford it. Take care, friends, and we'll see you on the next show.